Hello Friends! As of late, I have been asking God to remove me from a situation that I felt was hindering me. I felt crushed and stretched, and to be honest I felt trapped. I kept praying to God to ask Him to remove me from this situation because I had been in it for so long, and quite frankly I was becoming sick and tired of it. I was completely exhausted from dealing with the same things day after day; and when I would talk to God about it He would always tell me that it was for my good. For a long time that made me really frustrated because I didn't really understand what that meant.
For a really long time in my life, I felt like a device. A robot designed to fit your every need. If you wanted a worker, I was a worker. A therapist, then I became a therapist. A close friend (when you need something), then I am on the call. I never really felt like a human being. And to be honest, because so many people only spoke to me when I did things for them, I never felt like I had any value unless I was being used.
So many times when people are talking about things being for your good, it's oftentimes within the context of what you can do for other people. And for an extremely long time in my life, that was the way that I interpreted that phrase. I felt like I had to become a better human in order to better serve those around me. But a couple of weeks ago God had spoken to me while I was watching a sermon. And to be honest I don't even think it was something that the preacher said. They were talking about pain and the things that people do to hide what they are going through and He started to just press into my spirit. I suddenly realized that the reason that I was where I was, was to draw out this belief that I felt about myself. I had to go through the pain of feeling like this in order for me to feel upset enough to recognize that this was a problem that I needed to fix. I kept trying to ignore it, and run away from it, and hide and act like everything was okay, but I wasn't. And at the time it seemed like the "Christian" thing to do, to ignore yourself and provide for others, but God was telling me that it's not!
For so long I felt like God only cared about what I did, so I could help others. But I finally realized that He actually cares about ME! As a person! And everything that I go through is to help me first! So that I can release the things that are holding me in bondage! Because He cares about me!
'We know that in all things God works for good with those who love him, those whom he has called according to his purpose. '
Romans 8:28
'You plotted evil against me, but God turned it into good, in order to preserve the lives of many people who are alive today because of what happened. '
Genesis 50:20
