It's Not Your Fault
Hello, my dear friends! I have been thinking about this very deeply lately, and I have finally been given the conclusion that the way we address problems in Christian culture HAS to change. I don't know about y'all's experiences however, every time I seem to have a problem involving my walk with the Lord, and I go to seek out advice from Christian leaders and followers, they tend to place the blame on me. And I've noticed that I'm not the only one who has had this issue. I would see other Christians around me complain of the same thing, so I decided to talk to God about it. And he told me that this issue (of Christians blaming themselves every time they have a disruption in their walk of faith) reinforces a toxic pattern of making us turn inward. And that process of always looking at ourselves when things go wrong, can make us miss what God is doing in our lives.
Many times when Christians go to other Christians to seek advice when they have a problem, they are met with a series of victim-blaming questions. Some of the common ones that people see are: Have you been praying enough? Have you been reading your Bible enough? How often are you going to church? Do you *actually* spend time with the Lord? These questions reinforce the false belief that anytime there is a bad situation in our lives, that it is because of something that we've done.
And when you approach every problem in your life as though you are the cause of your own pain, you start yourself on a path of self-destruction. This causes people to not only doubt themselves, but they also start to slowly lose their faith in God. Because this approach paints God as an unrelenting punisher. And that He will bestow anyone with a specific amount of pain, for any sort of mistake that people make; whether that mistake be conscious or unconscious. And this belief system then causes people to overthink and be hypercritical of every individual action that they take. It causes them to live in fear of themselves and of God. And if you have been following along to the posts that I have been making on this blog, then you are fully aware that many things that happen in our life are not the cause of actions that we have done. God allows many things to happen in our lives in order to prune us, prepare us, and form us into what he has called us to be. And if you would like a Biblical example of someone going through a very difficult season, through no fault of his own, then one of the best examples is with Job. Job in the Bible had gone through many obstacles, trials, and tribulations. He lost his children, his livestock, his servants, and his health all around the same time. He did absolutely nothing to deserve any of that, but his friends had tried to blame these difficulties on Job’s actions. However, Job knew that this was not the result of what he had done. And God even confirmed this by telling Job’s friends that they were in the wrong for saying what they said to him. Sometimes people just so happen to go through very tough and challenging seasons; and it has nothing to do with us or anything we’ve done.
However, during one of the times in my life when I still believed that every bad thing in my life was because of my actions, I was crying out to the Lord and He showed me that feeling negative emotions could be the point of why people have to go through hard times. That the reason we have to go through tough times, is sometimes because we keep running away from what is hurting us. Many times we have to face an obstacle that is so big and is so strong , so that we can see that what we are running from is actually negatively impacting us.
And to use me as an example, I always ran from the pain I felt inside of me. And a piece of me even felt like it was holy to do so. But God was showing me that I had to be put in a position to realize that running from my emotions was not for the betterment of me. And He was also showing me that He truly cared about me as a person, and not just the things that I did for Him. That me trying to save face and just bear the pain was not something that He wanted for me. I may have acted as though I was okay, but He knew that deep down I wasn't. So He wanted me to address this and get rid of it so that I could live a happier life.
He also showed me that the things I do, and the stuff I believe that is negative or wrong is not my fault. And even as I say this, it's still sometimes hard to believe. But when you put it into context, it also makes perfect sense. We live in a world that is socialized into sin. Almost every single concept of society is influenced by sin. And when we are born we don’t have to be taught how to sin, because it is so deeply embedded into our culture that even toddlers commit sin. The first thing that we know is sin. We are born into it. We are socialized into it. And we are expected to behave like sinners. And it’s bad enough that humans keep up the socialization of sin in our society, but we also have an enemy that is actively deceiving and terrorizing every single one of us on the Earth. So we as humans (in our own accord) have the odds stacked against us when we come into the world. So when someone is brainwashed into this ideology, it makes perfect sense for why people then let sin rule their lives. We don't know any better. And even when we allow Jesus to lead our lives, we still have to go through a long and strenuous process of unlearning our sinful nature. It's not our fault that we behave this way. It's not our fault that in the beginning, it's hard for us to trust God. Because human beings are typically not trustworthy. And since our interactions with other human beings tend to provide the basis of our understanding of a relationship with God, how could you not worry? If all you’ve known in your life is sadness and despair, then how can you suddenly have hope? If all you’ve known in your life is trauma and abuse, then how can you suddenly make healthy relationships?
So when we fall into these things God isn't trying to condemn us. God isn't going to be angry with us for believing the lies that are told all around us. Because you can't really blame us for believing them. You wouldn’t get mad at a child for believing a lie. But you would get mad at the adult who was trying to deceive them for their own gain. So that is essentially what God is for us. He doesn't get mad at us for doing what we do, and believing what we believe, because it's not us who are telling ourselves these things. It is the enemy who is doing these things because he wants to destroy our relationship with God. And once we, as children of God, know better, then we can actively be better. Because how can you know how to do something, if no one ever taught you how to do it?
So my friends, please release yourself from the shame and guilt of not fully understanding everything there is to know in your walk with the Lord. And forgive yourself for making mistakes. It is okay. God is not mad at you or punishing you. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. Stop beating yourself up for things you cannot control. Be free and go in peace. And trust that God loves you, is providing for you, is not mad at you, and has everything under control!
10Then Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are your accusers? Has no one condemned you?” 11“No one, Lord,” she answered. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Now go and sin no more.”
John 8:10-11 Berean Study Bible
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
Romans 8:1 NIV
“In the time of Noah I promised never again to flood the earth. Now I promise not to be angry with you again; I will not reprimand or punish you. 10 The mountains and hills may crumble, but my love for you will never end; I will keep forever my promise of peace.” So says the Lord who loves you.
Isaiah 54:9-10 GNT
14 But how can they call to him for help if they have not believed? And how can they believe if they have not heard the message? And how can they hear if the message is not proclaimed? 15 And how can the message be proclaimed if the messengers are not sent out? As the scripture says, “How wonderful is the coming of messengers who bring good news!”
Romans 10:14-15 GNT
12 For we are not fighting against human beings but against the wicked spiritual forces in the heavenly world, the rulers, authorities, and cosmic powers of this dark age.
Ephesians 6:12 GNT